She's My Everything

I have a new saying for Shasta that I think I want to cut out in vinyl lettering and put in her room.

"You turned my world upside down and now the view is so much better from here."

What do you think? Maybe just a frame, or scrapbook page, or something small. It's kind of long for a wall!

The Better Wives Club

When I first got married I wanted to start a Better Wives Club for women to get together and share ideas on how to be a better wife. I thought it would be fun to talk about ways to improve my marriage and hear what other women were doing in theirs that I could apply to mine. Sad to say, I never got the courage to start the club.

Instead, my sister and I have started the Better Wives Club Blog! It only took me 5 years to realize my club could be a blog! It's not intended for either of us to give marriage advice, but rather, do exactly what an in-person club would do; talk about our marriages and ways to strengthen them. In other words, it will hopefully be comment driven rather than just listening to my sister and me all the time!

Swing on over and check it out by using this link ---->  Better Wives Club ...and then become a member!

Shasta's Hair

I did little topsie pigtails in Shasta's hair for the first time on Labor day. (Technically the night before was the first time because I practiced!) Her hair is super long on the top and only long in random places everywhere else. Some of it hangs over her clothes and ears. If she was sitting up it would be easier to style, but because she lays on it so much she just rubs out whatever I do.

I'm kind of at a loss for what to do with her hair. I can't just leave it undone. That's not how I was raised! Plus, it sticks up like crazy. If I comb it down after her bath and let it dry it just poofs back up and won't lay flat. And the hair towards the back of her head grows forward so that doesn't help. The biggest problem is I don't want to do pigs and ponies everyday because I feel like it's bad for her hair and soft head. Any suggestions? Anyone know of any baby styling gel?
Front view.

And because I never included one in her 4 month post, here's a comparison picture with her cow Bree. She's seriously growing up way too fast.

Isn't she such a doll?!?!

I Want To Burst From Every Seam!

A few weeks after Shasta came home from the hospital I got hit with Post Partum Trauma Aftershock. (I just made that up. I don't know what was really wrong with me!) I called my doctor but the soonest I could get in to see him was a month out so they wrote me a prescription based on what I told them. I never went and got it filled because I didn't feel like that was the answer I was looking for. (Turns out it was depression medication so I'm glad I didn't get it filled because I know depression isn't what was wrong with me.)

Back to the title. I want to burst from every seam because I'm finally feeling normal again! With the exception of all the crap my family (parents and siblings) is dealing with at the moment... a post probably meant to stay in my journal for now. At least until all is said and done.

Anyway. Nick and I went through a lot with having Shasta, obviously. Everyone always told me I must have been so scared and to be honest, I never was. I never gave into my fears because I trusted the Lord. Sure I cried from time to time, (the day I was discharged was by far the hardest) but I never had any reason to think the worst. My goal was to be positive through everything because I knew that was best for her.

Skipping forward to her coming home. After all was said and done everything sunk in and I was hit with the aftershock. I couldn't wrap my head around all that had happened and it was really weighing on me. I cried a lot to say the least. Every possible what-if scenario went through my head on top of all the things I wished I could have done differently. It was really hard for me to come to terms with everything that had happened and accept it all. I felt like my head was constantly in the hospital, replaying every detail over and over again. I was having a hard time moving on so I finally decided to call my doctor. And when I couldn’t get an appointment I decided to take matters into my own hands (without use of medication).

Fast forwarding to today. I can’t tell you how blessed I feel. I’m finally feeling normal again and I’m absolutely loving life. From the beginning Nick and I were able to recognize all the blessings we received as things were happening, but it’s nice to look back and really see the Lord’s hand in our lives that brought us to where we are now. There are a lot of other things going on with my family right now that are hard to understand and bring a lot of sadness, but at least there’s one thing checked off my stress list. Yay for finally moving on! In the words of Agnes from Despicable Me: “[I’m] so [happy] I could die!” (Okay, so they’re not exactly her words, but just picture her saying it. And if you haven’t seen the movie and therefore don’t know what I’m talking about; first, shame on you! :) and second, go see it!!! I highly recommend!)

Pray For Alice

My reasons to Relay never change, they just expand. Tonight I was reminded why Relay For Life is important to me.

I hope for the day when there will be a cure.
I long for the time when there won't be anymore sorrow.
I ache for the families that watch their loved ones suffer.
I pray for peace of mind and to understand the Lord's will.
I know our Relay efforts help make a difference.

I have to believe. For my friend Alice, I have to believe. Tonight my heart hurts for her and her family. She's my reason to Relay this year. Pray for her and pray for her family. Send them comfort and peace of mind. She needs our support now more than ever.

It's time to change HOPE to CURE. Here's to the best Relay Utah State has seen yet!

The Deeper Meaning Behind Football #1

(Title By Sara, Post By Nick)

I grew up a Buffalo Bills fan. This is important because it’s not easy being a Bills fan. Since I’ve been a conscious sports fan, I’ve witnessed a lot more disappointment than victory. In fact, the only national championship my favorite team has accomplished is the team I follow the least, the New Jersey Devils. The Twins won the World Series when I was 13, before I was really a loyal fan; and of course the Jazz and Bills both played for their respective championships- the Jazz lost to the Bulls twice, the Bills lost four Super Bowls in a row. And then there’s the Utah State Aggies. They’re always so close, win a lot of moral victories, in all their sports, but so often come up short.

But back to being a Bills fan. There was an ESPN commercial that said without sports, we’d stop believing. It was claymation of a town in upstate New York. It’s a gray and gloomy town, the yards uncared for, the sky stormy and bleak. A family, including the grandmother in her motorized cart, sit round a TV on a Sunday afternoon while the announcer from the TV talks about the end of another Bills’ game where it looks like they will come up short. In the final play, the other team fumbles and a Bills player picks it up and runs towards the endzone. The sun comes out from behind the clouds, the grass turns green, the houses become colorful. The family gets excited, smiling, cheering; grandma jumps up from her motorized scooter and starts dancing. All the while, the announcer calls the touchdown, how incredible it was that the Bills would win. Then the announcer says “wait, they’re calling it back, they’re saying he stepped out at the 30 and the game is over. The Bills lose another heartbreaker.” The sun disappears again, the town turns gray, and the family falls back into their morose, lethargic state. In the first Super Bowl they played in, Scott Norwood missed a 47 yard field goal wide right in the final seconds. In their second, Thurman Thomas spent the first quarter looking for his misplaced (or hidden) helmet. He fumbled on the goal line in their fourth Super Bowl which would have been what they needed to take a lead they could possibly have held. They were the victim of the Music City Miracle, took the lead with only seconds left on the clock, and then lost as a lateral pass on the kickoff that was right on the edge of being illegal (and probably was) successfully switched the field allowing the Tennessee Titans to win. They would eventually lose to the St. Louis Rams in their own heartbreak, their receiver being tackled within a yard of the endzone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OP8XPxPWaU4


Which leads me to yesterday. I woke up excited because it was the first day of the Utah State football season. I wasn’t expecting much from this season; a rookie quarterback being inserted into an offense that underachieved horribly last year, and a defense that ran out of gas by the fourth quarter, so I just wanted them to play well against last year’s national champions, cover the spread. They did much better than that; they dominated Auburn through the first half, and the offense had no problem driving the ball against a super-athletic (and paid for) SEC defense throughout the game. With just over three minutes left, Robert Turbin scored a touchdown to put the Aggies up 10. But like my dad always says, the Aggies always play just well enough to break your heart. Auburn scored a touchdown within a minute and then executed a perfect onside kick that USU didn’t defend against at all. With no time outs, Auburn drove the rest of the football field and scored, going up four with 30 seconds left. A last second screen play got them half way, but that was it. There’s a little solace in the fact that they were in a game that they had no business playing in, but it’s a game they should have won, and lost because they panicked, or weren’t prepared, or Auburn finally woke up, whatever reason, it’s a disappointment that the team will fight all season.

Five hours later, my little family went up to the Utah State volleyball tournament.

It was the final night of the round robin, and their final match was against Texas State. I’m pretty uneducated about the abilities of volleyball teams, but I figured USU would be able to dominate the much smaller future WAC school. Looking at the opposing team, I thought the same thing. It didn’t happen that way; the Aggies were run over in the first set, eked out a win in the second, dominated the third, and barely showed up in the fourth. In the last “overtime” set, they go down early, and it looked bleak, but they came alive, played solid defense, and rode the arms of their star outside hitters Liz McArthur and Jocelyn White (the tournament MVP) who got the last three kills of the game.

To finish the night, my wife and I rented The Adjustment Bureau, a movie about a “government agency” that makes small adjustments in people’s lives to keep the plan on track. The point of the movie is the defense of Free Agency, especially in terms of love. It seemed the perfect movie to accompany our day. Volleyball is about small adjustments at high speeds, a forearm rotated a degree in the wrong direction shanks the ball into the crowd, or benignly over the net, or straight into the Libero’s face. A couple of close calls that went the Aggies’ way changed the course of the final set. The onside kick, hit a fraction higher, lower, to the left, or to the right could have knocked the ball straight to an Aggie, or out of bounds, or trickling only a few yards when it has to go at least ten before it’s touched by a Tiger.

I don’t mean to imply that God cares at all who wins a preseason volleyball tournament, or a meaningless college football game, or even a Super Bowl. Sports is just a microcosm of our lives. Yesterday reminded me of the value of each tiny moment, or the importance of each choice we make. It gives me a little glimpse into the purpose of this life, an inkling of the plan for us to learn to make small choices with limited knowledge and a miniscule amount of time. And I guess I just wanted an excuse to litter my wife’s blog.

Lesson Learned #2

I wanted to get a picture of the scared face Shasta makes when she's carried down the stairs facing forward, but she decided to teach me a lesson that most parents already know. Kids always prove you wrong.

I asked Nick to carry her down the stairs so I could capture that moment forever and then she'd never have to suffer again. When he turned the corner for me to snap away she was perfectly content; wasn't bothered even a little bit. So then I said we should try carrying her up the stairs instead. I waited at the top of the stairs to get the picture I wanted and once again it didn't even phase her. It's like she knew what we were up to and was determined to prove us wrong.

So instead I asked Nick to toss her in the air (without actually letting go of her) so we could at least get her scared face on camera. That one finally worked, but it's still not as good as her usual faces. You get the idea though; wide eyes, (almost) red face, stiffened body, and arms straight out.

Her arms aren't quite as straight in the next one, but the quality of the picture is much better.

4 Months and Counting

Shasta had her 4 month appointment and her doctor had nothing, but good things to say about her. He said it’s hard to know when a premie baby will start doing things, but to expect her to be 2 months behind.

He said she was an All Star for strength since she can roll from tummy to back, but under average for her motor skills for a 4 month old (average for a premie). Then when I told him she knows the sign for milk he changed his mind and said she’s a super All Star for motor skills!

But realistically, he said she’s at about a 3 month level when it comes to grabbing things and being interested in toys. In my book that says she’s behind for a 4 month old, but ahead for a 2 month old which is where she should be.

I was really surprised when her doctor told us we could start her on rice cereal. When she was in the NICU he said not to expect to start feeding her solids until 6-8 months.

He’s really impressed with her progress and thinks she’s ready for rice cereal. He said we could give her as much as we want and as often as we want. It’s completely up to us. However, I think we might wait a little while before we start. One thing he said was as long as she can hold her head up good and strong then she’s ready.

Well, the Bumbo supports her head so she does just fine, but when she’s just being held she’s still a little floppy. Another reason I want to wait a little bit is because she still chokes a lot. She chokes when she nurses and she chokes when she’s just chillin’ by herself.

It’s like she inhales with milk or spit in her mouth and then starts coughing it back up. Most of the time it isn’t a big deal, but plenty of times her face turns red, she wheezes, or her lips turn purple. She usually panics for a moment after and then she’s good to go, but it worries me to feed her anything more than milk. My last reason for wanting to hold off for another month is because I simply love nursing her. She’s growing plenty with just nursing so I don’t think we need to change anything for now.

Weight: 10 lbs 12.6 oz (4th %ile)

Length: 22.75 inches (7th %ile)

Head: 15.8 inches (26th %ile)

Things she’s doing by 4 months:

*Rolls from tummy to back
* Knows the sign for milk
* Is scared to be carried down or up the stairs facing forward. (Lesson Learned #2 at UofP for why there's no picture. Stay tuned)

*Anytime she’s scared she makes the same face (again, wait for Lesson Learned #2 at UofP). Her whole body tenses up, her face turns red because she stops breathing, her eyes get really wide, she stiffens her arms straight out, and sometimes she starts to fuss.
*Occasionally sleeps 5 to 6 hours at night.
*Started sleeping in her own room (about a week before her 4 month mark). Oddly enough once she was moved to her own room she started sleeping 7 to 8 hours at night.
*Smiles more and more

*Went to Willow Park Zoo with two of my sisters and two and a half of her cousins (my sister's pregnant)
*Loves taking Wedge for walks and cries when we come back in the house
*Still sleeps a lot throughout the day, but her doctor doesn’t think she’s anemic. He says it could just be that she’s still little.
*Kicks and kicks to no end.
*Always wants to look around when she’s being held

I know everybody feels this way about their kids, but I really do feel like the luckiest mom in the world! She’s a really easy baby which I’m grateful for. She’s perfectly content to lie on the floor and kick her legs while I get other things done.

She’s mellow and hardly ever cries. There are times when I’ll pick her up to feed her and realize I need to get something and set her down for a second and she’ll cry in a tantrum sort of way because she thinks she’s so hungry she could die. I secretly love it when she does that because it makes me feel needed. She fusses sometimes, but it’s rare that she full on cries. She’s such a good baby and I’m so glad she’s done so well since the day she was born. If being sick for 9 months straight (or in Shasta’s case 7 months straight) means I get to have a good, easy baby I think I’ll take it. Nine months of hard pregnancy sounds much easier than a life time of rotten kids! :)