Instead of doing a "30 Things I'm Thankful For" post to represent Thanksgiving month, I decided to do a post of 30 blessings that make me thankful. In other words, I've made an effort to recognize God's hand in my life each day! This post is more for me, so feel free to skip it since it may be boring to anyone else. Heaven knows I think those "thankful" posts on Facebook can get pretty boring to read!!! Plus, it's a novel so I'd be impressed if anyone other than myself made it through to the end. But for those willing to try, I've highlighted key points to make the skimming move along faster!
Day 1: Today Heavenly Father has blessed me with energy! It may sound silly, but I've been running on little sleep this semester. I have classes 5 days a week and four of those days start at 6:30 in the morning. Shelby sleeps 10-12 hours most nights, but she goes to bed at 6pm so I still feed her between four and six in the morning. I typically don't get to bed until midnight or later because after the girls go to bed is the only time I can focus on my homework. I've tried doing homework while the girls take a nap, but my online class is incredibly boring and I can't keep my eyes open at 2 in the afternoon unless I'm up and moving. So I typically end up falling asleep which only makes me feel more tired. Exhausted doesn't even begin to cover how I've been feeling this semester... and pretty much since Shelby was born. I'm thankful that today I was able to be productive and actually clean my house and not feel like a walking zombie!
Day 2: Today Heavenly Father reminded me how special good friends can be. Nick had his 24 hour video game marathon today and two of his good friends came up from Salt Lake and stayed from sun up to sun down. These are friends that Nick hasn't spent much time with since we moved to Logan and yet somehow it seemed as if no time had passed since their last get together. I guess old friendships die hard! I'm thankful Nick has such good friends in his life. Even more than that, I'm thankful they were willing to spend the day with him playing video games so I didn't have to! :)
Day 3: Today Heavenly Father blessed me to hold down the fort while Nick recovered from being awake for the last 24 hours. Week nights can be really hard without his help, so I really enjoy weekends with him home, but today, even though he slept for a good chunk of the day, it was still nice knowing he was home and accessible if I needed him. I'm thankful to be capable of handling motherhood on my own from time to time, but I'm even more thankful to have an amazing partner to help me!
Day 4: Today Heavenly Father has blessed me to feel good about the body I've been given. I've been struggling with body image since having Shelby because I can't seem to lose any weight and none of my clothes fit comfortably and I can't afford to buy a new wardrobe. But today during my water aerobics class we did partner relays and my partner and I were the first ones to finish! We did the same relay three more times and we were the only team that never came in last place and the only team that didn't "earn" any Up and Outs (a water aerobics version of pull-ups). Even though I left class feeling like I was going to puke, I realized how far I've come and how strong I've gotten. After 6 straight months of puking, 2 straight weeks of bed rest, and my stomach being hashed into, you can bet I've lost muscle mass this last year and have replaced it with stubborn fat. Two months ago I never would have been able to complete those relays. I'm thankful to be getting stronger and that I'm starting to notice results from all the hard work I've been putting into regaining a healthy body.
Day 5: Heavenly Father has surrounded me with great Sister Scriptorians. Tonight we met for Book Club and after a rough day I wasn't sure I wanted to go and drag my two kids with me since Nick works at night. I sucked it up and went anyway and I'm really glad I did. We've been reading the scriptures and when we get together we discuss the different things that stood out to us. I LOVE hearing what the other sisters have to say and I always leave feeling so uplifted and ready to dive into our next set of chapters to read. I'm so thankful to be part of a book club that focuses on the scriptures and motivates me to read and study them.
Day 6: Today Heavenly Father has given me a little more motivation in my quest to move to a plant based, real foods, lifestyle (I'm not calling it a diet because it truly is just making better choices in how I fuel my body). I've been wanting to do this for a while, but it isn't cheap and it's a lot more time consuming to cook from scratch. Dinner is the hardest time of day in my house because Nick is at work, Shasta is determined to be as "helpful" as possible, Shelby needs baby food, nursed, bathed, and put to bed between 6 and 6:30 and I somehow have to magically have dinner prepared and on the table by 6:40 when Nick walks in the door to eat and is gone 15 minutes later. It's stressful, and hard, and I'm thankful for every night that there's enough left overs to feed everyone so I don't have to take the time to do any more prep than throw it in the microwave and maybe cut up some fruit to serve with it! But tonight I was able to prepare a full recipe from scratch that was healthy, real food, and plant based instead of stirring in Quinoa into whatever dish I've prepared and calling it my lame attempt at making a healthy dinner! I'm thankful tonight's dinner was a success (and actually tasted good) and I now have a new recipe in my repertoire.
Day 7: Today Heavenly Father has reminded me that I'm doing something right in raising my girls. It is so rewarding to watch Shasta interact with Shelby, her dolls, and even her stuffed animals. And in some cases Wedge. Today Shasta was jumping on the bed while Shelby was laying on it and I asked her to jump on the floor because I didn't want her to fall on Shelby. She immediately dropped to her knees and hugged Shelby and said, "Oh, I'm so sorry sister". Then later I was changing Shelby's diaper and she was protesting and Shasta kept telling her, "I know, sister. It a be otay." and showered her in kisses on her head. She's seriously SO sweet to Shelby and even though she occasionally rips toys out of her hands or yells at her to stop kicking her, (after Shasta's chosen to sit right in the line of fire and clearly Shelby doesn't know any better) she, for the most part, adores Shelby and mothers her to the best of her ability. I'm so thankful that Shasta loves Shelby so much and I hope they will be close their whole lives.
Day 8: Today Heavenly Father reminded me of how powerful the covenants are that Nick and I made in the temple when we were sealed together. I had an unpleasant conversation with two different people about a popular trend called "Swinging" (something I had never heard of until now) and one night stands stemmed from curiosity. After these two conversations I couldn't pull my head out of these sickening thoughts. I talked to Nick about it when he came home for dinner and took great comfort in his insights on the matter, but still it was eating at me. After I put Shasta to bed I knelt in prayer because I knew I wasn't going to move past thinking about it on my own. Immediately I felt a weight lifted from my mind and could go about the rest of my night in peace. I'm thankful to know there's a lot more to the blessings of the Temple and the sealing powers received there than I will ever understand in this lifetime.
Day 9: Today Heavenly Father has shown me that when I put my faith in Him, He will come through. Our insurance is changing come January which is scary because we're comfortable with what we have and know that bringing children into this world is anything but cheap for us, but that's beside the point of this story. Now that Nick's graduated we are fortunate enough to get to start paying back his school loans. I had no idea where we were going to find the extra money each month to pay for this new expense, but wouldn't you know, with our insurance changing, the amount that we pay each month is changing too. The money we owe each month to student loans is almost exactly the amount we're saving each month on insurance. I'm so thankful that Heavenly Father is continuing to bless me to be a stay at home mom and a student.
Day 10: Today Heavenly Father reminded me that despite how I feel at times, my children really are pretty well behaved. I went to church just me and the girls because Nick wasn't feeling very well and we didn't have a single meltdown (from the girls or me)! Shasta was reverent and patient during sacrament meeting and walked through the halls with her arms folded (something I always remind her to do, but she doesn't always cooperate). Shelby got fussy due to church being right through her morning nap, but she's still small enough that a little bouncing and she was out! I'm thankful my children gave me an easy time at church today!
Day 11: Today Heavenly Father has shown me how often He is available to me. As I was reading my scriptures I came across the word Deliver four times within the two chapters I read. This is my favorite word in the scriptures because it shows how often God helps the people. Each time I read this word I'm reminded that if He is willing to be there for them, then He's willing to be there for me too. I'm thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who blesses me whether I deserve it or not!
Day 12: Today Heavenly Father has taught me patience...again! Shelby was completely off on her schedule today and refused to take an afternoon nap. She was only happy when she was being held which made everything else impossible. I couldn't get her down for the night before dinner because I didn't get everything prepped for dinner during nap time since she didn't take one and Shasta woke up an hour earlier than usual. By the time Shelby got to bed, an hour late and with no afternoon nap, she was done. But then I nursed her before putting her to bed and everything that was frustrating about my afternoon suddenly seemed moot. I'm thankful to be able to nurse my babies and be able to recharge my patience batteries as we share an intimate moment with each other.
Day 13: Today Heavenly Father has reminded me how truly blessed I am to be surrounded by so many people that are in the same stage of life as me. Sometimes it's really hard living in Logan; especially in a student ward because our friends come and go so often. I get attached to people and before I know it they've graduated and move on. It's a vicious cycle and sometimes it's hard to be the one that's been around for so long and will probably never move on! Today some friends got together to celebrate the birthday of a cherished friend who will be moving out of Cache Valley soon. As sad as it is to see her leave, I take comfort in knowing more friends will come along. Change is good because my life can be impacted in ways it never could if things always stayed the same and for that I am thankful.
Day 14: Today Heavenly Father has helped me appreciate my children more. I've been having some bad days where I've felt maxed out in stress and frustration. As the end of the semester is wrapping up everything is coming to a head and sometimes I express my frustrations through my parenting. And of course then I feel super guilty and wish I could take back every unpleasant moment and start over. But today Shasta has shown me that I've been doing something right with her. We've been working on our Thankful Tree for the month of November and today I decided to make a bunch of hands in advance and have her tell me different things she's thankful for so we have some ready to go for days where it's too crazy to fit it in. I'm so impressed by the things she's come up with. I haven't given her any answers; I've just asked her what we say we're thankful for in our prayers and she goes from there. I kept asking her, "what else are you thankful for" and I loved hearing her say, "faint you for..." as if she was saying a prayer. I'm thankful to know that at least some of her answers are stemmed from things I've taught her!
Day 15: Today Heavenly Father has shown me that Shasta really does listen when we say our prayers. For the last several months maybe, she has refused to say prayers. I mean, she'll kneel, fold her arms, close her eyes, whatever, but when I ask her to say them she says no and when I ask her to help me say them she won't do that either. We routinely says prayers throughout the day and she always goes through the motions, but somewhere along the way she stopped helping me say them. Well, today, for the first time in forever, she said a prayer from start to finish all on her own without any help AND it was her idea; I didn't ask her to! We set up to have a tea party and before we started to play she said we needed to say a prayer first and immediately started saying one. And it was a LONG prayer too. She said things that I routinely say in prayers, but she said her own things too. Through her whole prayer my eyes were watery, I had the cheesiest grin on my face, and my heart melted with every word. I'm so thankful that she is learning how to pray. Journal after journal I have written down that of all the things I can teach my children once I'm a mother, the most important thing is how to pray.
Day 16: Today Heavenly Father has reminded me how blessed I am to be in a student ward. We had our Super Saturday today and it was so nice to carry conversations about life that we could all relate to. We're all young, newly married (although Nick and I may be the matrons of the ward with our whopping 7 years under our belt!), new to parenthood, and students so we all have experiences that are similar. It makes for easy conversation and easy friendships. We won't get to stay in the ward much longer because there isn't a primary that supports sunbeams so I'm thankful for the time that we've been able to be in a student ward and the experiences we've gained from it.
Day 17: Today Heavenly Father has shown me how truly blessed we've been financially. We live on one income that to most people would seem insufficient for one person, let alone a family of four. And there are many times when I wonder if we'll be able to keep up. But today we had our tithing settlement and I feel so grateful for how much we've been able to give back to the Lord after all He's done for us. Even though we have to say no from time to time, we've never had to go without and I know it's because we're full tithe payers. Our contributions might not be much, but it is ten percent of what God has blessed us with and that pleases Him. I am thankful for how hard Nick works to support our family and for the sacrifice that he makes to do so.
Day 18: Today Heavenly Father has reminded me how blessed I am to be able to nurse my babies. Shelby has to have two bottles of fortified milk everyday to help her little brain catch up to where it should have been had she been born full term. When I discovered I could fortified baby food instead of breast milk I jumped on it so I wouldn't have to pump anymore. This morning I nursed Shelby while everyone else was asleep so the house was silent. All I could hear was her guzzling the milk that my body miraculously provides for her. Then, after school I ran some errands and was gone too long for Shelby to wait for me to feed her so Nick pulled out some frozen milk from our endless supply in the freezer. When I got home I pumped (for the first time in weeks) to replace the feeding I missed and pumped out 8oz of milk. I feel so thankful that I have so much to give her since my pregnancy abilities are something to be questioned. I'm thankful Heavenly Father has blessed me to be able to nurse my babies because I love that special time with them. Especially at 5 and 6 in the morning when there are no distractions or interruptions.
Day 19: Today Heavenly Father blessed me to soak up the little things. Every laugh, every smile, every song, every conversation; I felt so much love for my children and that I'm the one that they call mom. I'm so thankful to be their mother and that I get to learn so much from them.
Day 20: Today Heavenly Father blessed me with the ability to set my stress aside and enjoy time with my family. I have a huge project due next week that I am feeling panicked about and it's taking over my life! Any time I do anything other than work on this said project, all I can think about is how I should be working on the project and not doing what I'm doing. Well today I helped Nick film a commercial that he's submitting into a contest and I never thought twice about what I should be doing instead. I enjoyed the time we spent together filming the girls and brainstorming ideas. I'm thankful that Heavenly Father helped me put aside my stress and savor something special with my family.
Day 21: Today Heavenly Father has blessed me with so much joy! There's nothing I cherish more than being a mother. Tonight, Nick was running late for dinner so I decided to go ahead and start without him because Shelby desperately needed to go to bed. I asked Shasta if she would say the prayer and much to my surprise, she did. She was only a few words into it when we heard the garage open and Nick pulling in and she said, "thank you that daddy can have dinner with us" (in broken English of course). Then once Nick came in and sat at the table she started the prayer over and prayed forever! She recited everything she could think of until she finally got distracted and I whispered, "in the name of", and she whispered back much stronger, "I'M SAYING IT"! Through her whole prayer I was smiling from ear to ear and trying so hard not to laugh because I couldn't contain the joy I was feeling. Then when we sang songs for our bedtime routine sometimes she'll sing with me, but most of the time she just listens. Well tonight she BELTED every word! I felt like I was sitting in a primary room during the final rehearsal of the primary program. There's nothing more precious than hearing a two year old sing, "at times I am tempted to make a wrong choice" (I'm Trying To Be Like Jesus), "I'll prepare myself while I am young" (I Love To See The Temple), "I want to be the BEST I can and live with God again" (I Like To Look For Rainbows), and "I am a child of God" (that's a given). Music to a mother's ears; both literally and figuratively! These words are always gentle reminders to me to be a better mother. Help her prepare now so she can go to the temple. Teach her how to be the BEST she can be. And remember that above all else, she's a child of God. She's only two and still learning. I'm so thankful for the joy my children bring to my life. I'm thankful that I get to listen to Shasta pray and hear her recite things I've taught her. And I'm eternally grateful for primary songs and the things they teach my children and the reminders they give to me.
Day 22: Today Heavenly Father blessed my home with little girl laughter. I watched my niece Meili today and I LOVED watching the girls play together. I treasure Shasta's laugh, but there's something about two little girls laughing that fills me with joy. It's especially fun when they think they're being funny and keep repeating themselves and laughing. I'm thankful my home will always be filled with laughter!
Day 23: Today Heavenly Father blessed us to spend time with extended family. Nick and Shasta went to the USU football game with his parents and sister's family and afterwards we all went out to dinner together; something we don't do often. It feels like it's been a while since we've gotten together so it was nice to spend some time together. I'm thankful for Nick's family and the relationship we have with them.
Day 24: Today Heavenly Father has blessed me with great ward members that are always telling me how amazing my kids are! One person in particular helped me put Shasta to bed after I had my c-section and wasn't allowed to lift her. Nick was at work and Shasta was still in a crib so she came over and helped me. Since then she has told me a few times, today included, how much she loved our bedtime routine and that it's something she's going to do once she has kids because she thinks it's such a special thing. Specifically she was referring to singing primary songs together. I'm so thankful for anytime someone tells me I'm a good mother. It boosts my confidence and helps me feel like I'm doing something right because often times I focus on all the things I'm not doing. It's nice to have the positive things pointed out to me every now and then!
Day 25: Today Heavenly Father blessed me with the gift of tongues... or is it the gift of hands? I had a sign language project where I had to present my research paper to my class and the only way I was allowed to communicate was through sign language. It was scary, and intimidating, and if I said I wasn't scared out of my mind I'd be lying! I was so stressed and nervous that prayer was the only comfort I could find. I'm so thankful for a Heavenly Father that looks out for me. That understands my fears and blesses me in my time of need. I don't think I would have survived my presentation without Him.
Day 26: Today Heavenly Father blessed me with an amazing confidence boost and realization to why things happen the way they do. After yesterday's presentation I was beside myself with worry about how well I did. I emailed my teacher and he told me he's comfortable in saying I'm among the top 5 signers in my class! Then this morning I got another email from him telling me the fact that he told me I'm a good signer should mean something because he doesn't give feedback to just anybody. He also told me how admirable it is that I'm a mom and a student and that I'm being a great role model to my children. This semester has been really challenging. I never dreamed adding another child to my family would add so much strain on my ability to be a student. I've been really discouraged and wondering if I should continue my education or give up on it. I've been prayerful about it because obviously it's a big decision that I shouldn't make on my own and I'm pretty sure this teacher has been an answer to my prayers. I'm thankful certain circumstances allowed me to be in his class. I wasn't planning on taking it from him, but the teacher I wanted to take it from didn't have a time that worked for me. I'm thankful my Heavenly Father has a plan for me and puts things on my path that at the time doesn't make sense to me, but eventually works out for my benefit.
Day 27: Today Heavenly Father blessed me to spend time in the kitchen baking with Shasta. We baked a Thanksgiving treat and she helped me with the measuring and stirring. I love when she can be involved in the kitchen and help me where she's able. I'm thankful to get to spend one on one time with her doing something we both love and watching her explore new things and enhance her development.
Day 28: Today Heavenly Father reminded me how wonderful Nick's side of the family is and how much I enjoy getting together with them. Sometimes it's hard for me to be so far away from my family and spend so many holidays with Nick's, but I really do love being around them and spending time with them. I'm thankful Heavenly Father has blessed me with such amazing in-laws!
Day 29: Today Heavenly Father blessed Nick and me with a date! We don't get out of the house very often without our kids because Shelby is nursing and I don't like leaving them with other people for any decent amount of time. But we stayed the weekend at his parent's house so we waited until after we put the girls to bed and then caught a late movie using the gift card from our ANNIVERSARY in MAY! It's about time we got to use it! I'm thankful I got to have alone time with my husband and have conversations with him that weren't interrupted by a two year old!
Day 30: Today Heavenly Father blessed me with the ability to finish this list of 30 things I'm thankful for and realize just how much His hand is in my life. Really everything I have is because of Him and as we transition from the month of Thanksgiving to the month of celebrating the Savior, I'm thankful to have spent the last month recognizing God's hand in my life so that now I'm prepared to spiritually celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ.
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