Sunday, May 3, 2015

Graduating Class of 2015

Walking in the Procession with my girls. 
My journey through school had a roller coaster of challenges from start to finish. When I graduated high school I moved to Nauvoo, Illinois where I got an apartment with my friend, Britina, and enrolled at Southeastern Community College in Keokuk, Iowa. Right before enrolling in my first semester of college, I met my husband and we had a long distance relationship while I went to school. I only did a semester at SCC before transferring to Mesa Community College in Arizona so I could plan a wedding. And I only did a semester at MCC because we got married in May and I moved to Utah.

After I got married, Nick and I lived in North Salt Lake, where we spent a year and a half figuring things out before I enrolled at Salt Lake Community College. Once again I only did a semester at SLCC before we moved to Logan, Utah where we could both go to school at Utah State University. Nick had already been accepted and attended USU before we got married, but I still had to apply and be admitted. I did everything that I needed to do, and then the waiting began. We moved to Logan after Christmas and Nick enrolled for Spring semester. I waited that entire semester to be accepted, but never heard anything. When Fall semester started approaching and I still hadn't heard anything I just assumed I didn't get in, but my Mother In-Law wouldn't accept silence for an answer. She called the school to find out what was taking so long and why I hadn't received an acceptance letter. Fun fact, out of frustration for both of us, this was also the first and only time I have ever heard her use a single swear word (although she probably wouldn't appreciate me sharing that (even though most people can't say the same)... sorry)!
Come to find out, USU was waiting for a transcript from a school I never attended. As if attending three community colleges didn't make things complicated enough, going to Southeastern had its own hurdles to jump through. Because I lived in Illinois and was attending a school in Iowa, their way of jumping through hoops so I could have in state tuition was to enroll me in Carl Sanburg College in Illinois (something they do for all residents that live right across the border from SCC).The problem about it was it showed on my record as attending their school, but I never had a transcript so they were waiting for something that didn't exist. Once that was straightened out, it wasn't long before I received my letter of acceptance into USU. I suppose the very first thank you I owe in my journey through school is to my mother in-law for seeing to it that I got accepted. If it wasn't for her, I don't know that I would have taken the initiative to find out what the hold up was on my own.

Stew Morrill - USU Basketball coach - retired as of 2015
But the next obstacle came when I enrolled for Fall semester and found out that they were charging me out of state tuition. It was my understanding that marrying a Utah resident automatically allowed me to have in state tuition. And I also had heard that you had to be a resident in the state of Utah for a year to qualify for in state tuition. Both of these I had on my side. But for some reason USU wouldn't waive the out of state tuition for me even though SLCC did. I dropped all of my classes and tried again Spring semester, but found myself in the same predicament. Summer semester of 2009 I was finally able to enroll in and attend my first classes at USU.

Fall semester of 2010 we found out we were pregnant with Shasta (something we planned) and I was NOT ready for the sickness that I faced. I tried to push through it, but it was harder than I could handle and Nick and I decided I needed to take a leave of absence from school. I withdrew from my classes 8 weeks after the semester began. Looking back I wish I would have stuck it out for the remaining 8 weeks, but it was my first semester being enrolled as a full time student and taking all of my classes on campus. Before that I had been going part time and mostly online because I was working full time between two jobs. Spring semester came and I was still miserably sick. I only took 6 online credits to still make progress in my education while trying to survive the rest of my pregnancy. Thankfully I didn't enroll in any campus classes because Shasta was born 8 weeks early and the week before finals so figuring all of that out was complicated, but I survived.

Now I was attending school as a first time mom with a full time nursing baby (for the first 15 months of her life). Although I was no longer working, my attendance slipped back into part time because I didn't know how to make it all work. Nick was also going to school so not only did I have a baby to tend, but my classes had to work around his classes and work schedule so one of us was always available to be with Shasta. Spring Semester 2012, I was able to trade babysitting with my friend Kristi (also a mom going to school), which allowed me to take on a heavier load. She watched Shasta while I was in class and I watched her daughter while she was in class. But to make things complicated, in order to make it work it required Kristi dropping her daughter off at my house, me loading the kids into the car, picking Kristi up from her class, dropping me off at my class, and Kristi bringing the kids back to her house where I would pick up Shasta when my class was done. Challenging, but worth it.

The building in the background is where I spent a lot of my time.
Fall semester 2013 we found out we were pregnant with Shelby (also planned). Even though I knew how miserable pregnancy was for me, I was hopeful this one would be different. It wasn't. I took 9 credits that semester, all campus classes, and pushed through them the best I could. I missed a lot of class and worked with my professors to be patient with me. I Somehow managed to pull off decent grades. Then Spring semester came which was probably my hardest semester physically. I only took 6 credits, but one of my two classes was a preschool lab where I worked with three year olds. I was pregnant with Shelby, spent a lot of time with my head in the toilet, and had hip pain so bad that by the end of the day I cried when I walked. Working with three year olds five days a week was exhausting and then I would come home to an almost two year old. I depended on Nick's sister, Kaleena, to watch Shasta for the first 8 weeks of the semester, my homework load was unbelievable, Shasta started potty training, and to top it off, Shelby was born 8 weeks early and three weeks before the semester was over. I found myself on bed rest for two weeks before she was born, had an emergency c-section, returned to school 7 days later, and shared time as best as I could between a neglected 2 year old with separation anxiety and a baby in the NICU. I'm still not sure how I made it through, but I feel stronger for it.

The rest of my education went relatively smoothly. A few classes got tacked on to my load because my program changed their requirements and it got complicated as my choices in classes narrowed down. I kept putting classes off that were offered at times that interfered with Nick's work schedule because I didn't want to figure out babysitting. My last two semesters I was forced to rely on other people to watch my kids while I was in class. It was hard for me to depend on other people and it was stressful when they cancelled and I had to find a replacement. I struggle with asking people to help me and give them every opportunity to say no because I don't like being an inconvenience to them. I owe a big thank you to EVERYONE who helped watch my kids while I went to school; especially my friend Jamie, who bailed me out every time I was in a bind.

My final semester threw a curve ball at me that made me question if I should graduate or continue my education. I have been going to school to be able to work with Deaf children, but the state of Utah doesn't allow that without a degree in Special Education. USU's Deaf Education major is an amazing program with 100% job placement, but it requires moving out of Utah. I knew I wouldn't get to work with Deaf children if we stayed in Utah, but three months before graduation I found out I could minor in Special Education and that would allow me to work with Deaf Children in Utah. I met all the requirements for the minor except four classes. FOUR! I went back and forth for the next three months trying to decide what to do. For four classes it seemed silly not to complete them and get the certificate I needed to work with Deaf children. But, since everything about my education was complicated, these four classes were only offered in specific semesters; two in the Fall and two in the Spring. It meant another year of school. It meant another year of depending on other people to watch my children. It meant another year of Nick working at his job because he's been waiting for me to finish school before we move on. It meant giving up my last year with Shasta before she starts Kindergarten. After a LOT of prayer, contemplation, and back and forth between what to do, I felt at peace when I finally decided that I needed to graduate and not complete the minor. I still feel sad about it, but it was for the best.

Nothing about my college education came easy for me. I did things the hard way, lost credits from attending so many schools and transferring, and faced my fair share of trials. The whole time I attended school I never really believed I would finish. I thought for sure Intermediate Algebra, Statistics, and Psychological Statistics would be what kept me from graduating, but I got through it and found I even enjoyed statistics. Even during my final semester I didn't believe I would finish because there was still that chance of failing a class and I feared my adviser would come back and tell me there was something else I still needed to take. But somehow I managed to meet all the requirements and graduate with 132 earned credits. And for all the time I spent worrying about passing my classes during my final semester, I managed to pull off a 4.0. Too bad my overall GPA is less desirable! But I contribute my success this semester to committing to not doing any homework on Sundays. I had faith that if I dedicated Sundays to family and worship I would be blessed for it and my grades proved it!

I've thanked a lot of people along the way for their contribution to my education, but the one person who stands out above all the rest is my husband. He put up with a lot while I went to school. Up until 2013, he was a student himself and worked full time. He also took care of his pregnant wife twice during that time, completed two semesters worth of finals sitting by my side in the hospital, and carried the responsibility of being a dad. Once he graduated he became the full time child caretaker all morning long while I was in class and then worked full time in the afternoons. He spent a lot of time tutoring me, looking over my papers, and helping me with my homework assignments. He drove me to and from class when it was snowing, was my personal chauffeur while I was pregnant, and often drove to campus while I was in class to trade me cars so I could pick up the girls from the sitter without having to trade cars with him at his work or have him leave the car seats with the sitter and me install them in the freezing cold. He made his fair share of breakfasts, prepared lunches almost daily, and put up with many cheap, crappy, quick-fix dinners when I claimed I was too tired or had too much to do to make anything else. He's what made it possible for me to go to school and I didn't always show him the appreciation he deserved. I'm thankful that he believed in me and boosted my confidence when I needed it, but mostly I'm thankful for all the support he gave me.

All in all, my college education has taught me that I can do hard things. I'm a lot stronger than I ever thought and I feel a huge sense of accomplishment for persevering through all those challenges. I'm not really sure what my next step will be, but for now I'm excited to be a full time stay at home mom. I've used school as an excuse not to do a lot of things because it ate SO much of my time. Now that I'm done I have a lot of projects to complete, goals to accomplish, and books to read, but most importantly, it's time for me to finally be the mom I've always dreamed of being. I'm so excited to get started!

And as for Pinterest; I made it a rule a few years ago that I couldn't have an account until I completed school. I knew that I would waste a lot of time that I didn't have, spend money purchasing supplies for projects I wouldn't complete, and feel guilty over all the things I wanted to do with my kids, but couldn't because I didn't have enough time. Now I have nothing but time and intend on making the most of it!


For the last ten years I have found myself in
"The Waiting Place...
...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance
Everyone is just waiting.

No!
That's not for [me]
Somehow [I] escaped
all that waiting and staying.
[I've found] the bright place
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banners flip-flapping
once more [I'll] ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because [I'm] that kind of guy!
Oh, the places [I'll] go!"
-Dr. Suess

I now have a Bachelor of Science in Family, Consumer, and Human Development with an emphasis in Deaf Education, in the Ellen Eccles Jones College of Education and Human Services, from Utah State University. My waiting to finish school is done. And now the fun begins!

2 comments:

Kelsey Fairbanks said...

Holy cow! That is seriously impressive. What a relief to have it all behind you!

Tannie Datwyler said...

YOU ARE AMAZING! Just reading all of your journey makes me get a little teary. It's quite a feat, and you should be darn proud of yourself!