Nick's Graduation

I am ridiculously proud of Nick for graduating! He has worked so hard over the last several years to support our family and go to school. Basically for the last five years Nick has woken up, gone to school, come home, worked on homework, gone to work, gotten home around midnight, worked on more homework for an hour or two, gone to bed, and started all over the next morning. He would only be home after school for a couple of hours before he had to leave for work. Needless to say we haven't seen much of each other over the last five years between work and school schedules for the both of us.

I know how hard it's been on Nick and has quite possibly shaved a year or two off his life with how much sleep he's lost! And twice we've thrown in pregnancy, which, as hard as it is on me, it's just as hard on Nick for different reasons. Pregnancy doesn't seem to agree with my body and makes me incredibly sick. The small amount of energy I can muster up gets put towards school, so basically everything else in my life gets neglected while I'm pregnant and Nick has to pick up the slack. His responsibility with the second pregnancy was far worse than the first. Not only did he have to take care of Shasta and Me, but he also broke his hand and had surgery in the midst of everything. Then my body decided it couldn't be pregnant any longer and we had a baby 3 weeks before school got out. The hardest semester of Nick's college career and suddenly our lives spun out of control with more stress than any two people should ever have to deal with at one time. It's amazing that not only did Nick pass his classes this semester, but he passed them with B's and better!

So yes, it's taken a while for him to finish school, but for good reason. I really can't say it enough. I am SO proud of him! We may have done things the hard way, but hopefully it means we'll appreciate it more.

I sure love my Aggie!

Nick on his Graduation
     I am grateful for the congratulations and support that I've received, but the credit should really go to my family.  In fact, I view my education as a failure.  I should have graduated 10 years ago.  Sara deserved to have a husband who was successfully in a career and able to support her.  Shasta and Shelby deserved to have a father whose life was stable, who could devote specific time to them, and who could give them all they wanted and needed.  Instead, they got me, a 35 year-old history major with no clear idea of what to do next.  It might be okay if I was 25; I wouldn't feel like the runner who slept in, that I'm starting my race ten years late.  I will be at a disadvantage and struggle to keep up with an energetic and innovative work force.
    Yet while I may not be happy with the race I've run, I am proud that I ran it.  Robert Frost's poem about comparing his life to roads in the woods failed to mention the small deer trail off to the right.  The path I took was no road at all; it was a direction.  I lost connection to the people I was journeying with, lost sight of my destination and goals.  I even spent time resting and lost track of time.
     But the path I took was beautiful and unique, despite being long, frustrating, trying, and treacherous.  I saw quiet meadows and pristine lakes.  I walked with wildlife who had been displaced by forest fires, and struggled against ever changing weather and terrain.  I think my journey taught me a little more about sacrifice, true love and devotion, priorities, percistence in the face of adversity, and yes, even a little bit more about patience.  Throughout it all, I was able to walk among the young while viewing them with old eyes.
     And there are a lot of reasons why it took me so long to graduate.  The first reason is because I had an amazing, once in a lifetime job working for the church's AudioVisual Department.  I will always look back with envy on those seven years working for the chuch.  I was doing something I loved doing, maybe for the last time in my life.  Most importantly, I made friendships that will hopefully last for eternity; my closest friends outside my family and my first friend Brandon Bowen.  In fact, it was probably Christian Baker that showed me the deer trail to begin with.
     The second reason is that I took a lot of classes I didn't need to take.  While this was more of a negative, there are classes that I didn't need to take that made college worth it.  Of course, those who know me know of the 13 semesters of volleyball.  That was where I made the most friends at school, and some of the closest.  I've told Sara that I get twitchy when I haven't played in a while, and it was the most enjoyable aspect of going to class every day.  I even went after I broke my hand and couldn't play for the rest of the semester.  Along with that, I had theater, journalism, and film classes that ended up being just empty credits, but that created lasting memories.  I failed engineering, chemistry, and computer science classes, learning that God had other plans for me.  I didn't think I could do something I love and get paid for it.  I may not still, but at least I have accomplished this goal with that idea in mind.
     The last thing that slowed my schooling was my family (or lack thereof).  Before I met Sara, most of my energy was spent thinking about how to find a wife, and I was a little distracted.  After we were married, the original plan was for Sara to (quickly) finish school, and then I would finish.  After a year, and realizing the ridiculous process of schooling at UCMT, we changed our plan and put my schooling first.  We moved to Logan.  Our decision to have a baby forced me to stop trying to do what the world wanted me to do and make a choice about what I could get done quickly (because I would enjoy it), so I chose history.  The one and only semester where I went full time at Utah State ended up being the semester where Shasta was born two months early, a week before finals.  Of course, her little sister came at about the same time two weeks before finals of my final semester, the semester when I decided to take two of the most difficult and time consuming classes of my college career.  And the whole time, I worked full time+ to ensure my family was provided for meagerly, hoping to one day give them a better life. 
     So while I appreciate the well-wishes, and especially the well-wishers, instead, you should congratulate Sara for all that she's done and all that she's sacrificed so that I could do what I should have done before I met her.  You should congratulate Shasta for how resilient she's been in being passed around from baby-sitter to baby-sitter, and for how forgiving she is when her dad is grumpy.  Especially congratulate our Heavenly Father who once again has performed an impossible mirace and gotten me through the deer trail that has made all the difference.  To end, I want to share the lyrics to a folk song that demonstrates my full heart today as I graduate.

Once I stood at the foot of a great high mountain

That I wanted so much to climb.

At the top of this mountain was a beautiful fountain

That flowed with the waters of life.

I fell down on my knees at the foot of this mountain

crying 'Lord, what must I do.

I want to climb this moutnain, I want to drink from this fountain

That flows so clear in my view.'

Then I heard a sweet voice from the top of this mountain

Saying 'child put your hand in mine.

Start climbing upward, watch your step at the edges

And take one step at a time.'

I started climbing upward, taking one step at a time,

The higher I got, the harder I climbed.

I'm still climbing upward, and my journey's almost ended.

I'm nearing the top, and you ought to see the view.

Oh, the water flows freely, there's enough here to make you free

So friends if you're thirsty, climb this moutnain with me.

 

Jack White. "Great High Mountain". Cold Mountain.

A Day in the Life of Shasta

From Shasta's perspective.

I wake up between 8 and 9 every morning. When mom is at school Dad gets up with me and I sleep until 9, but when Dad's at school and mom gets up with me I sleep until 8.

First thing I do after I wake up is have breakfast. I feed myself because I'm a big girl. Mom mostly just gives me cereal because I'm too impatient to wait for anything else. What can I say, sleeping 11-12 hours at night makes me super hungry.

Once I'm done with my breakfast I help mom finish hers.

Then I climb the stairs all by myself because I'm big like that. I also like to take a pair of shoes up with me every time I go. I don't understand how they always end up back downstairs.

Now it's time to get dressed because I spilled milk all over myself. I like to help mom by taking off my diaper.

As soon as I'm dressed I'm busy at work. It's time to play!

Today mom did my hair because she's going to take a lot of pictures of me to help me document my day. Most days she doesn't bother doing my hair unless we're going somewhere because I pull all of my hair ties out during nap time. Even when we go places I pull them out in my carseat. Still she's a sucker and does my hair anyway! Silly mom. I wonder if she knows the definition of insanity...?

 Now that my hair is done I have to put on some shoes. I don't care whose shoes they are just as long as they're on my feet.

 Then it's time to get back to playing.

Mom forgot to close my closet doors so while she's busy doing who knows what I think I'll pull all of these clothes out and throw them on the floor. Mom doesn't even bother folding my clothes before putting them away anymore because I empty these drawers so often!

It appears I've been caught and she closed the closet doors, so now I'm plotting how I will pull these baskets off the shelves without mom knowing. I'm sure she doesn't suspect a thing!

Whenever I do something I'm not supposed to I always say "No, no" because that's what mom would say and if I say it then she doesn't have to. Mom was in the other room when I got the basket down. How in the world did she catch me? She must have super powers or something!

 I escaped with two hair ties that mom didn't take away. Now it's time to put them on my feet.

 I could play with my feet all day long. They're just so interesting and my toes do funny things.

Aww, that looks perfect. Mom painted our toenails black for Halloween. She told dad we're being festive. Whatever that means. Sometimes I just go with it.

Now it's time to play with my toys. To find the perfect thing to play with I chuck everything on the floor so they don't get in my way as I search through my toy box.

All this playing makes me thirsty. I'm really good at drinking from water bottles. If I spill, it's usually on purpose. What can I say, I like the sound it makes when it hits the floor!

I got tired of the hair ties on my feet so I decided to put on one of mom's socks. Looks pretty good on me!

Don't get me wrong. I like the clothes mom picked out for me, but sometimes I just wish she'd let me choose my own. I'm 17 MONTHS OLD for crying out loud. I'm not a baby anymore.

I love teasing Wedge. When he sits in mom's lap I like to sneak up on him and try to pry his mouth open with my hands. He hates it, but I think it's SO funny!

Of course mom takes all the fun out of it and tells me to be nice, so I let him give me kisses. That's nice, right?

I like to get down on the floor and tease Wedge too. Trying to take his toys from him is even funnier than pulling apart his jaw. I sneak up on him, but he always seems to know what I'm up to. He growls at me and sometimes I growl back. He's super fast too. I can never keep up with him. One of these days, when he least expects it, I'm gonna snatch the toy he's playing with and he won't even know what hit him! Then I'm gonna laugh and laugh and throw it down the stairs for him to go fetch!

Finally, it's time for a snack and some milk. I take my first nap at 11am. I don't understand why mom makes me take naps. It doesn't matter how much I protest, I never win. I'm never even tired when she says it's time for a nap, but the weird thing is as soon as she closes my bedroom door I go right to sleep. Hmmm... It just occurred to me that maybe she's spiking my milk. I better look into that.

Two hours later and I'm up from my nap. I told ya I'd pull out my elastics. I think it looks much better this way. Mom usually lets me play in my crib for a little while after I wake up. I like to have really animated conversations with my stuffed animals. The weird thing is she always comes in at the exact moment when I'm doing something I shouldn't. How does she always know? I play really loud and then when I'm doing something I shouldn't I get really quiet so she won't hear what I'm doing. I'm telling ya, she has super powers.

 Mom and Dad were in the garage when I got up from my nap. They said they were looking for yard sale items. Whatever that means.  While they were busy at work I took the opportunity to play with my new car that I'm not supposed to know I have until Christmas. Oops.

 Finally, it's time for lunch. I'm starved.

 But still I like to share some of my lunch with Wedge.

 Now that lunch is done it's time to put on some shoes again.

I like smiling. Smiling's my favorite! Oh, and don't mind all my toys in the background. Mom doesn't make me clean them up all day because I'll just get them out again. The weird thing is when I get up in the morning none of my toys are where I left them. They're all neatly put away on shelves and in my toy box. We must have cleaning elves that come out while we sleep or something.

 Look mom! I got my shoe on all by myself!

 Mom forgot to close my bedroom door when she got me up from my nap.

 I can climb into this chair all by myself. Whenever mom tells me I'm so big I get a huge grin on my face and feel a sense of pride. I like being big!

 I like to pretend everything is a phone, but the real thing is the most fun to play with. I call Grammy and Papa several times a day and have animated conversations with them.

 I saw mom pointing and thought it looked fun so I decided to point too.

 Time for another snack and milk before my 2nd nap. I don't take 2 naps everyday. The days that I only take one nap I get to stay up until 1pm before mom makes me lay down. Those days are the best! Mom says we're in a transitional period right now. I don't NEED to take 2 naps, but she NEEDS me to take 2 naps. Something about homework and chores? I don't know, I wasn't really listening. The days I take 2 naps I sleep for 4-6 hours out of the day, but the days I only take one I sleep for 2 hours at best. I don't see what the big deal is.

It's 4:00 and since today's a 2 nap day I guess I'll see ya in 2 hours or so. Oh, and this is Bunny and Puppy (Dad says his name is Pluto, but I don't know what that means so to me he's just puppy). I sleep with these two in my arms every time I go to sleep.

 Sometimes after my second nap I get a little grumpy. I cry and cry for no apparent reason.

 But mom gives me a yummy snack and I feel a lot better. While I eat my snack mom unloads the dishwasher. I don't understand why she waits until I'm distracted because I LOVE to help!

 Hey look! I got another shoe on all by myself!

 Now we're loading the dishwasher while dinner is cooking. I like to unload it as fast as she loads it. It's a good system we have.

 Mom gave me a few bites of ice cream straight out of the carton before dinner, but she said I couldn't tell dad. I'm not sure which part I'm not supposed to tell him; that she gave me ice cream, it was straight out of the carton, or it was right before dinner. At least if I accidentally tell him he won't be able to understand my gibberish. And she didn't give me nearly as much as I wanted. Something about spoiling my dinner? I don't know, I couldn't hear her over my cries in protest.

 It's finally time for dinner and good thing too. I'm starved. I love dinner time because dad comes home from work and eats with us. We eat dinner at the same time every night because of dad's dinner break. I'm not always a good eater, but mom always rants and raves about how yummy it is so I always try some. And sometimes if I see Wedge eating dinner I decide it must be good so I'll eat too. We used to go on a walk every night after dinner, but now it's dark outside by the time we're done eating. I can already tell I don't like this whole Fall/Winter business. Now mom makes me take a bath right after dinner, but I told her she couldn't put up any embarrassing pictures. Luckily I only have to take a bath every other night and tonight was the other night.

 I like to munch on some animal crackers and milk before bed time. Have you noticed I really like to eat? I would eat all day long if mom would let me. I share some with Wedge, but mom says he can only eat the kitties. I don't know which ones are kitties so I just give him whichever ones I feel like.

 Before bed I have to tease Wedge one more time. While mom puts away laundry, I like to pretend to throw his ball and watch him jump. It's SO funny!

It's 9pm and mom says it's time for bed. I don't want to, but she's the mom so I guess I will. Goodnight and thanks for reading. PS. I love comments almost as much as I love teasing Wedge!